Wednesday, September 26, 2012

The (Incredibly Complicated) Game of Life

I may have a million diary entries and printed AOL conversations with Thomas, but I only have one note from him. ONE!

Here goes...


  • Navid didn't hit on me, but he did get me this birthday card:

  • I have a picture of me in my Donato's uniform. In it, I am - for some inexplicable reason - pretending to sleep on a couch with my friend while holding a scary mask. This is what Friday nights looked like for me when I was grounded.

Oddly enough, Donato's rendezvous proved not to be enough for Thomas (or maybe my uniform scared him away!) and he broke up with me 7 days after my only note was written. For those of you with fast math skills, that is February 13th. The day before Valentine's Day. I'm fairly certain that it was the same day I had my Solon ID photo taken - because there's really no other excuse for my appearance.

A few doodles from the days following included some dark musings...

"If I cried a river, would you build a ship and sail to me? If I smiled through my pain, would it bring you closer?"

"Sometimes you can make sense of everyone else's life but your own. Because maybe you aren't supposed to understand everything that happens to you. Maybe you can't understand something so incredibly complicated as the game of life."

"The world won't make sense until you've given up on it. Time won't stand still until you're at your worst."

"Don't depend on anything or anyone. Everything can change in a second."

"There's never a perfect time for heartbreak. You'll never be ready for the end. The end won't wait for you, warn you, speak for you, or live for you. The end doesn't arrive until the last moment you feel safe."

Suffice it to say that I was pretty upset. I received a few notes attempting to cheer me up.

  • I wonder if she intentionally wrote this note on the "self-esteem" page of the planner to help me get the hint. 
  • Apparently my mood swings weren't very subtle. 
  • Hey, I love Boston Market!

  • Well of course I get it now, this isn't the end of the world. At least I knew I got dumped this time!
  • I guess I really liked to eat if everyone is closing their notes to me with food references...

The cheering up didn't work right away, and I've got some of the archives from my attempts at being a writer/poet/songwriter to prove it. Stay tuned, but - ya know, I wouldn't depend on it.. or anyone, for that matter.

No comments:

Post a Comment